Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I am getting lazy

Takes too long to illustrate these blogs.  A few people out of the few people that know about it asked if I started it because I was bored. After I was asked that, I paused to think about it (both times) and then thought definitively -- NO!! because I do not have the luxury to be bored. I just had to think about it because my brain is now slow. I take 4.5 times as long (arbitrary figure) to process and respond to things than a year ago.

Anyway our poor baby bot's hair (or lack there of) is a continual cause of concern for her dad. The other day he looked at her and said, "She needs some Rogaine!" and called her "Prince William".
Baby bot, meanwhile sat there with her budding new front teeth thinking about how much she loves plastic bags of all shapes and sizes but hates any type of lotion touching any part of her body, especially her face. Girl obviously doesn't know what's good for her.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I am a brainy announcer

Remember those public service announcements about drugs? To refresh your memory:
I always felt they didn't quite give the right message. Obviously they're saying that your brain is "fried" when on drugs but honestly, a cooked egg is more appealing to me than a raw one. (Don't worry, it didn't make me try drugs.)

Well I hereby present to you my own PSA along the same lines (I'm proud that it parallels so well):
Brain = mushy & fluffy. So go get pregnant -- c'mon you know you want to do it.... everyone else is... ;) (That was peer pressure- again great parallel, wow).

Monday, December 12, 2011

I am a double victim

I just had the worst weekend ever.

First my wallet got stolen at work on Friday. My brand new beautiful blue wallet that I loved, that carried over $100 in cash as well as all the ingredients for identity theft, was just snatched out of my purse. The thief surprisingly didn't take anything else but that is almost even scarier because it sounds like a professional, since phones could be tracked down.
So most of Friday was spent on the phone calling all my credit card companies, banks, and the police to report everything. Super fun.

Stomach Flu
Then on Saturday I go to bed feeling a little funny and by 3 am I am awake and hunched over the toilet. The contents of my stomach were spewed out of both directions. Disgusting I know and miserable it was.
The next day (Sunday) I had a headache, was feverish, achy and weak and couldn't do much except lie down and feel sorry for myself. Thankfully the bug only took about 24 hours to pass through my system and today I feel better. I had to go to the DMV and went to 2 banks to handle the wallet ordeal.


Sunday, December 4, 2011

I am a new mom

As a new parent, there are a ton of things that I didn't anticipate with baby-rearing. It's a constant battle with new surprises, twists, and turns every day. Any person I've spoken to these last 5 months has heard that I am soo tired, and that's pretty much all I repeat or say nowadays. Conversations with me are getting very dull.

Anyway here are a couple things I didn't quite realize before baby-bot came along...

- How beat up you become
I didn't even know it was possible to get mouth bruises, but after getting whacked on the mouth from a sudden violent head nod from baby bot, I got a nice little contusion that turned from bright red to dark brown.  Recently baby has taken to tugging on my hair and pinching my arms with her tiny hands while being held. She also has two little bottom teeth coming in so nursing can be a pain, literally. Baby contraptions that I constantly bump into or trip over include but are not limited to her her playmat, bouncer, jumperoo, and swing which are scattered around our small little place.

- That clipping baby's nails is one of life's greatest challenges
Seriously, a harrowing experience each time.  Toenails are a near impossibility for me as baby-bot has ridiculous leg strength. Thankfully they don't grow as quickly as finger nails. Why not do it while she's sleeping? No way jose. If you knew how difficult it is to get baby bot to even fall asleep you would not suggest such a thing; I will not disturb those periods for anything.

- You get a new bathroom buddy
If you have a needy baby like mine you don't have much choice.
Don't worry this only happened rarely since it bordered on child abuse and fortunately now at 5 months baby is tolerating being alone better. (thank goodness)