I am a happy camper (usually)

The last time we went camping we ran into a very UNhappy camper. We, along with two other friend couples, got to the camp site pretty late on Friday night after work so it was very dark by the time we got there. We still managed to find our spot (campsite #8) and set up our tents.

The next morning around 6 am we wake up to hear the campsite #9 neighbors complaining that we camped too close to them. It turns out that we put our tents in between campsites 8 & 9 because there was no clear delineation.

So in a half-awakened state my husband (hus-bot) got out to apologize to the neighbors and let them know that we would move our tents over.

He addressed the female but she didn't say a word and only seemed to look down the hill at someone else. Suddenly a man appeared and got right into my husband's face calling him "ignorant" and yelling at him.  He accused us of not paying for the campsite and just starting going off. In the beginning I tried to reason with him, letting him know that we DID reserve and pay for the campsite and that we would move our tents further away from him.  However, it soon became apparent that he was just crazy and that there was no reasoning with him.  (During this time, we moved all our tents over away from the middle.)

At first my husband was shocked but then he started getting angry. The man was accusing us of all sorts of things and seemed to be trying to scare and intimidate us. My husband started to explain, "Look, what happened was..." and held out his hands as he was speaking when the man slapped his hand away. At that point, my husband got fed up himself and pushed the man's chest. The situation was escalating and my husband actually challenged the man to a fight. He literally said to the guy, "Fine, you and me, let's settle this. You wanna fight? Let's fight on level ground." (The campsite was on an incline).

So my husband proceeded down the hill to the street while the other guy went up the hill towards his tent and started rummaging through a bag on the picnic table in front of it. This was the point where we were wondering what the heck was going on and couldn't believe what was happening. Then what does he pull out?!

A HUGE knife! I could not believe it. It was like an out-of-body experience and I really started freaking out. This whole part was a bit of a blur, with the guy yelling out who knows what and my husband darting from side to side (to avoid getting hit if the guy decided the throw the knife at him) and yelling at him "That's a violation of penal code 245 - Assault with a deadly weapon! I'm a criminal defense attorney!"  He also tried to wake up the other campers by yelling "Everyone this guy has a knife!". Anyway, I believe at this point our friends were also waking up and started getting involved and somehow the guy ended up putting away the knife (I actually don't remember when he put it away). 

The guy then started yelling about reporting us, calling us "gang-bangers". My husband yelled back about us all being professionals (3 attorneys, 1 physician, 1 pharmacist & 1 optometrist).  Anyhow the guy started going around to our cars and writing down our license plate numbers and I believe at that point he noticed the license plate cover of my friends' car that named her law school.

After that I think he finally realized that we weren't a group of clueless teenagers and started getting scared. He began to back down with his yelling and looked a little more nervous.  However both he and my husband were pretty souped up on adrenaline and both were still posturing and staring each other down. My husband even went so low as to imitate his Australian accent to aggravate him.  Of course I was yelling at my husband the whole time to calm down and stop. Eventually the guy came over and gave a half-hearted "apology" which seemed more a way to cover his butt, saying that my husband actually started this whole ordeal.  Finally he and his female companion went off hiking and we were able to have some breakfast in peace, albeit with a bad taste in our mouths. 

We spent the rest of the day attempting to fish (none of us were successful) and in the back of our minds we were all a bit uneasy about sleeping next to the crazy man that night. However, when we got back from our fruitless endeavor we were surprised to find that they had....... left without a trace!

After that it we were able to breathe a sigh of relief and relax, enjoying ourselves by our campfire. Phew!

I am female

... and so is my daughter. Obviously. Unfortunately this fact is apparently not so obvious in real life. Wherever we go everyone refers to her as "he".

Since the above picture is a fairly accurate representation of what she looks like right now, you can't really blame anyone. We like to call her "gender neutral" but she pretty much resembles an old man right now as highlighted by the descriptions. (The attached earlobes part has nothing to do with old men, but is just an interesting part of her anatomy to us because both her parents (we) have them; genetics can't be denied!).

Anyway, out of any context we agree that it's a little hard to tell. But see the following scenarios involving our baby bot. C'mon!

Scenario 1: Outside our home re-introducing ourselves to our neighbors. The neighbor guy asks, "And what's his name?"

Granted the color can throw you off a little bit, but who dresses their boys in dainty lace tank-onesies?

Scenario 2: At a restaurant. An older lady asks "How old is he? Oh wait is it a he?"

Really? All dressed in pink PLUS a pink blanket yet still there is confusion?

Scenario 3: At another restaurant. A waitress came by and said, "Oh he's so cute". Thank you for the compliment. But did you SEE the hot pink lining of the jacket?

Scenario 4: At the mall. Baby bot's Halloween costume was a cow. Overhead a grandma saying "Oh he's a cow. My granddaughter is going to be a cat and has that stuffing around the middle too." (BTW we saw that costume at Costco too and would've gotten it but we went too late and they were out of our size.)

Scenario 5: At an outdoor food court. Someone asks, "Is it a girl or a boy?.. Oh, there's a bow so must be a girl". You think? (The dress kind of looked like a shirt, but still).

I am constipated

Since I'm constipated 90% of the time, one of my constant obsessions is poo. At this time I will rank/grade my preference of said subject matter. Please do not proceed if you are easily grossed out/offended or tend to be condescending. *Condescending people are the worst. 

A. The Gold Standard: Long, even, but not necessarily lean. Always best if they have a "clean" break, if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, let me just say that it saves toilet paper. Should have those characteristic "pointed ends" for a clean break.

B. Loosey-Goosey: Not packed as nicely as the gold standard, but is one of the furthest types from constipation so ranked second best. The problem with this one is that it hardly ever comes with a clean break.

C. Clumpy/Bulbaceous: This type has been around a little too long so that its hardened a bit and folds over itself. This is one step away from the worst of them, but isn't too bad because it usually comes with a clean break and doesn't involve a stomachache.

D. Diarrhea: Most people hate this, but I love it. I like how it feels like a mini-cleanse as it flushes the system out. I'll take diarrhea over constipation any day. In fact, I would actually rank this much higher, maybe 2nd best except for the fact that it's just not healthy and is usually associated with some problem.

F. Rabbit Pellets: Now these are the absolute worst. After straining and moaning and groaning, creating hemorrhoids in the process, you are rewarded with a tiny bead. Ugh. Constipation is in full swing and you depart the porcelain throne in the sourest of moods.

I am obsessive

I have an obsessive personality. I am obsessed with being obsessed. One of my current obsessions is trying to find interesting blogs-- the best are the funny ones, but the ones that are super revealing are great too. By super revealing I mean those blogs that get very in-depth and personal into people's lives and have lots of pictures. It sometimes makes me feel like a creepy stalker, but since I'm a small, relatively sane, and well-educated girl with a family of my own, I'm pretty sure not many would find me threatening.

How did this obsession begin you ask? Well it all started when I got pregnant and began scouring the world wide web for pregnancy blogs to see what other people went through during their pregnancies and compare their belly shot photos. Then after giving birth the only thing I was really capable of for a while was breathing, eating, (not sleeping), and going on the internet.

Anyway reading these blogs always inspires me to start my own. I actually did start one that was super revealing but then got freaked out and privatized the site, inviting only my best friend to read it.

So now I decided to make a random blog for the world's viewing pleasure (I can't say funny because that's too much pressure. (I rhymed)). It won't be anything new or revolutionary. Everything will probably have been said or done before, but oh well. No one's forcing anyone to read it!