I am predictable

In the evenings around 10 pm or even earlier, this is me:

I am exhausted and my ultimate goal in life is to crawl into bed and collapse. I drag myself around with my eyelids half open and my brain half dead.

Unfortunately there is something that interferes every. single. time. Ugh! The indisputable equation:

*My toothbrush is fancy only because all toothbrushes these days are fancy (except for the ones given for free at the dentist) with their multi-colored bristles and rubber parts. Must've gotten some pointers from those automatic car washes. Anyway, I digress...

So the mundane task of brushing my teeth is like a free shot of espresso because my drowsiness suddenly vanishes.

Instead of sleepiness, I am then filled with an intense desire to stare at screens (computer or TV).  And so I do.

I am in trouble

I am already having battles with my 6 month old. We started introducing solids to her which apparently are not to her taste nor liking. She has now discovered that the simple solution to avoiding her food is to close her mouth. And tightly at that.

I am allowed no entry to the mouth.

I try to force the food in by shoving the spoon into her mouth but it just results in food on her face everywhere around the mouth except inside.  To further counter my moves she dramatically positions her head to be facing completely away from me.

So I call in my reinforcement (hus-bot) to come distract her and make her smile and laugh with his tried and true goofy antics. Baby-bot sees my ploy and thwarts the attempts by simply grinning without ever opening her mouth. Crafty.

Nice try folks...

So I had to bring out the big guns. Entice her with her only weakness: cut fruit.

 Baby-bot loves sucking on slices of pear or apples and asks for it whenever we eat it around her. So I quickly cut up an apple and launched a 2 stage attack.

 She saw the apple slice and finally opened her mouth in anticipation...

Which is when I quickly swept in and shoved the food into her mouth! I had to keep doing this, letting her suck on the apple a bit in between to get her to eat anything at all.

A hard won victory... this time...

I am awake

I hereby present to you the 3 worst nights of sleep due to trips I have ever had.

3 - Sometime as a kid:

I remember how the night before going to Disneyland I was tossing and turning from anticipation.  I couldn't wait for the next morning and just couldn't fall asleep. From then on, I trained myself not to hype things up so much because it made for a pretty miserable night. At least I lost sleep over a good thing.

2 - Last week:

Our family took a trip to Las Vegas for the holidays. The only similarity this trip had from previous ones was that I was awake at the odd hours of the morning but obviously not because I was out and having a good time, but because I was in dealing with a crabby, teething baby who didn't like the new environment and made sure to make us aware of that every hour or so.  I'm sure our neighbors weren't too ecstatic either.

1 - Last last year:

The night that goes down in infamy however was an impromptu trip taken with my in-laws down to San Diego.  It was our fault we made the mistake of booking only 1 room (why?!!) when it was 5 of us.  So 3 grown adults (me, hus-bot, and brother-in-law) actually attempted to sleep in 1 not even king-sized but queen bed which in and of itself was totally ridiculous. But add to that the snoring cacophony of the mother-in-law and it was just over. The absolute worst night I have ever had.

I am getting lazy

Takes too long to illustrate these blogs.  A few people out of the few people that know about it asked if I started it because I was bored. After I was asked that, I paused to think about it (both times) and then thought definitively -- NO!! because I do not have the luxury to be bored. I just had to think about it because my brain is now slow. I take 4.5 times as long (arbitrary figure) to process and respond to things than a year ago.

Anyway our poor baby bot's hair (or lack there of) is a continual cause of concern for her dad. The other day he looked at her and said, "She needs some Rogaine!" and called her "Prince William".

Baby bot, meanwhile sat there with her budding new front teeth thinking about how much she loves plastic bags of all shapes and sizes but hates any type of lotion touching any part of her body, especially her face. Girl obviously doesn't know what's good for her.

I am a brainy announcer

Remember those public service announcements about drugs? To refresh your memory:

I always felt they didn't quite give the right message. Obviously they're saying that your brain is "fried" when on drugs but honestly, a cooked egg is more appealing to me than a raw one. (Don't worry, it didn't make me try drugs.)

Well I hereby present to you my own PSA along the same lines (I'm proud that it parallels so well):

Brain = mushy & fluffy. So go get pregnant -- c'mon you know you want to do it.... everyone else is... ;) (That was peer pressure- again great parallel, wow).

I am a double victim

I just had the worst weekend ever.

Robbery
First my wallet got stolen at work on Friday. My brand new beautiful blue wallet that I loved, that carried over $100 in cash as well as all the ingredients for identity theft, was just snatched out of my purse. The thief surprisingly didn't take anything else but that is almost even scarier because it sounds like a professional, since phones could be tracked down.

So most of Friday was spent on the phone calling all my credit card companies, banks, and the police to report everything. Super fun.

Stomach Flu
Then on Saturday I go to bed feeling a little funny and by 3 am I am awake and hunched over the toilet. The contents of my stomach were spewed out of both directions. Disgusting I know and miserable it was.

The next day (Sunday) I had a headache, was feverish, achy and weak and couldn't do much except lie down and feel sorry for myself. Thankfully the bug only took about 24 hours to pass through my system and today I feel better. I had to go to the DMV and went to 2 banks to handle the wallet ordeal.

Sigh...

I am a new mom

As a new parent, there are a ton of things that I didn't anticipate with baby-rearing. It's a constant battle with new surprises, twists, and turns every day. Any person I've spoken to these last 5 months has heard that I am soo tired, and that's pretty much all I repeat or say nowadays. Conversations with me are getting very dull.

Anyway here are a couple things I didn't quite realize before baby-bot came along...

- How beat up you become

I didn't even know it was possible to get mouth bruises, but after getting whacked on the mouth from a sudden violent head nod from baby bot, I got a nice little contusion that turned from bright red to dark brown.  Recently baby has taken to tugging on my hair and pinching my arms with her tiny hands while being held. She also has two little bottom teeth coming in so nursing can be a pain, literally. Baby contraptions that I constantly bump into or trip over include but are not limited to her her playmat, bouncer, jumperoo, and swing which are scattered around our small little place.

- That clipping baby's nails is one of life's greatest challenges

Seriously, a harrowing experience each time.  Toenails are a near impossibility for me as baby-bot has ridiculous leg strength. Thankfully they don't grow as quickly as finger nails. Why not do it while she's sleeping? No way jose. If you knew how difficult it is to get baby bot to even fall asleep you would not suggest such a thing; I will not disturb those periods for anything.

- You get a new bathroom buddy
If you have a needy baby like mine you don't have much choice.

Don't worry this only happened rarely since it bordered on child abuse and fortunately now at 5 months baby is tolerating being alone better. (thank goodness)